I had a magical experience last night. There's been a recent event which I have struggled making sense of. A situation took an unexpected turn and ended abruptly but that wasn't so much the issue. What Ive been finding challenging has been making my peace with not knowing what went on. I've talked about finding closure ourselves and even this time I've worked to get myself there, however the last few weeks I've had this question at the back of my mind, the one Ive been wanting to ask someone but ultimately haven't: "What happened?" I woke up this morning with a vivid recollection of my dream which hasn't happened in a while. That person had come to visit me at home out of the blue. It was unexpected but surprisingly I felt at great ease; I was confident, calm and amicable. There was no anger or resentment in me. All around me, my best and oldest friends - their faces smiling, their presence comfortable, we're each other's home. At one point, I approached the person with a smile and I simply uttered those two words. 'What happened?', I asked. The person went on to give me a clear, full answer. He explained his behaviour, his reasons; he spoke from a place of honest vulnerability, words which had that quality only true words have. The ultimate outcome wasn't any different in the dream; it ended the same way things ended in real life. Yet in that brief visit, I was offered an answer.
I woke up feeling secure and grateful. Why? Because in the dream I was serene and tranquil in a situation that's otherwise been bothering me for a while. Because there was such a strong and clear message of support - the presence of my best friends, all of them by my side, so reassuring. Because I was able to peacefully accept that ending no matter it being different than what I'd hope for.
And grateful, grateful for this person's visit; grateful for the answer to the question I never dared to ask.
I hear you, I understand. Thank you for stopping by.